Awesome November ((:

November's coming to an end. Im gonna wrap up the month of november with a post since its so awesome! Many events occurred in Nov. Basically, most of my girls' (as well as barry's) birthdays fall on this month. And hell my expenses skyrocketed like !@#$%^&;* ! I must've spent like a few hundreds this month! Plus i've been going out alot lately too. Keep hanging out with my girls as well as D. But it was worth it. Awesome max. Okay this is gonna be a uber long post.

Lets start with 11.11.11. Thought that day was gonna end badly. Since it kinda started off like bullcrap. But thankfully it ended great. Well, it ended when i was in the midst of a movie actually. But it was awesome still. "Warriors" was fantastic! Love it max! Luckily D wanted to catch it. Otherwise might'd pass on a great movie. Spend the evening till night at vivo. Wont deny that memories rocked me up when i passed by serenity. Cant help it man.

Oh yea. 10.11.11. Ikea-d with my lovelies Nu, B and Jo. Met up to celebrate Nu's 19th bash. Another awesome catch-up. But seeing how Nu and B are so focused on where they are right now, how they both know what they want in future, and how they're like studying and being so busy and all in their respective uni-s just made me kinda envious. Right till now, i still have no clue what i wanna do in future. I really hope i can further my studies for the time being. Thats my goal so far. Praying hard it'll happen.

22.11.11. Its our 1st month. Happy 1st Monthsary Babey D! Time really pass too fast! Even though no gifts were exchanged and basically, the whole day wasnt spent with you, at least we got to see each other at night and the night before too. Awesome nonetheless. Blamed myself for forgetting the previous week and put schedule to work on this day. But still met up with you after work at 11plus. Gave you a letter and glad to see you love it. ((:

26.11.11. Its your birthday D! Youre finally 19! Omg. I feel so old saying that! Slept over at your place cause we wanted to wake up early to get brunch. But failed to do so! Ended waking up in the afternoon and went over to the rail mall super late to have our lunch. Like 4plus late! Ate at this cafe called crefele cafe or something. Whatever. Laughs. Awesome beef burger and cammomile tea i had. Then you have to head off to have dinner with your fam. Afterwards, we met up again for icecream at island creammery. After icecream, we went searching for 24-hour coldstorage just cause i wanted my bacon bits. Laughs. And it was our first time grocery-shopping. Funny like shyt. Bought junkfood as expected then headed back. Damn awesome! Laughs. Oh yea. Bought you a burberry touch fragrance set with the shampoo. Hope you love it. Also baked muffins for you. Appreciate it much that you attempted to finish all of it despite it being infested with ants before i gave you (I cleared the ants of course). Youre too nice! Hope you love it too though!! ((:

All in all, D kinda made November better with his awesome-ness. Laughs. Glad to have him by my side. Really needa thank him for his understanding and all. He made me smile and laugh too many a time. Thank kew D super much!! And for tolerating my horrid moods!

P.S. Sorry I read your blog, J. Cant help it. I still do wanna know how youre doing and all. Didnt mean to flare at ya. Im glad you have Bel with you now. At least there's someone who can listen to you. Take care lots yea. I didnt answer you cause i couldnt say yes. Couldnt give you false hopes. Not cause i hate you.

11.11.11

Today's 11.11.11.

They say its like super special. Maybe it is.

But i feel that its just another day.

Cant sleep. So im blogging right now. 

Its just one of those nights whereby im feeling moody again.

Twitter, tumblr, and facebook has been spamming on this day.

Everyone's like "Let me make a wish."

If i would make a wish, all i sincerely wish is to be happy.

And to forever be smiling. Even after i die i wanna be happy too!

Tsk. All these negativity from me again.

Anyways, i'll go with the flow.

I of course wish i won't spend this day in vain.

It started badly for me. Kinda teared just now.

Aint sure why recently very easily affected by my surroundings.

Damn max. Laughs.

But 11.11.11 just started badly for me.

I really dont wanna spend today like bullcrap-ly man.

Even if its by myself, i wanna be doing things that i love or enjoy.

So needing icecream right now.

Painted my nails just now. Looks like SHYT.

Whatever. I love my masterpiece still. Laughs.

Sincerely crossing fingers that 11.11.11 wont end badly pretty please.

Argh. I just wanna see you.

Please kiss my moods away. Put a smile on me will you.

It's November Already

November.

How fast time passes. Before i know it, it's already near the end of the year. It seems only like yesterday when i  was wondering how im gonna spend the new year 2011. It was only a while back when i was thinking how stagnant my life was and how i crave excitement. Now, i've got my wish. Won't ever sprout such nonsense ever again! Damn. I won't say i aint happy right now. Cause i am, with D. But guilt's eating me alive at the same moment. Nightmares every night have made me afraid to fall asleep. Every day i'll wake up with my head throbbing. It just sucks. Sigh. If only things could be easier. Doctors should invent this "Letting Go"-pill totally. Whereby you pop one into your mouth, then within hours, your feelings of reluctant-ness, your feelings of sadness, unhappiness and whatever, would all be washed away. What can i say, only "Im sorry J."

November.

School term has come into its mid. Work load has been piling up. MSTs are just around the corner. FYP has just started for me. Damn. But procrastination is still on-going. Tsk. This bad habit has gotta stop! *Cross fingers* Imma work harder this semester. I will promise myself that for sure.

November.

A month of too many birthdays. All my lovelies having their birthdays altogether this month. Why why why?! Made me so darn broke every year at this time! I neeeeed like money pouring from the sky! Right now!! TSK!  Laughs.

November.

Please be good to me. You're one of my favorite month. So be awesome will you!

Still October

Its the 18th day of October. Time passes so fast. Before I know it, school has started. The second day of school has passed and so far so good. It started off well and ho-hum-ly. Has reached school in time for these two days. Im determined to change my tardiness! Hopefully its not for the first few days only! Crossing fingers! Class wise, aint have any class with 24 at all this sem. So am kinda sad cause couldnt be in the same class as my friends anymore. But oh wells, no one to blame but me. But thankfully share my core classes with Mich & Zo. Still have company! Plus im having classes with Kj, Arron & Ian too. Awesome!


Hmm. Decisions decisions decisions. Am not myself lately. Aint sure what im doing either. Im greedy and selfish. I know myself best. I just wanna protect myself. Simple as that. Wait, no. I just wanna be happy. Why cant happiness be easy? Why is smiling seemed to be the hardest thing to do so right now? Keep smiling Cecilia.

October

October.

So it's kinda late to post about the start of October but I DONT CARE.

September has been hell lot of happenings.

Some good, some bad.

Hopefully October would be good to me.

I have always liked October. So let it be good please!

School's starting in Oct too.

I really hope October would be kind to me.

Have been feeling slightly moody since the start of Oct.

May it just be the starting phase and would pass over soon! *Prays*

May October be an awesome month.

Family

Family.

The dictionary tells me that it's "a group of individuals related by blood, marriage, or adoption". But what does it mean to you?

Today, my sister and I went home together. And as usual, we talked. She told me I was fortunate to have my mom. I wanted to tell her, she's yours too. But I didn't. She told me, people often ask her, "You seem to dote on your sister quite much." And every a time, she will always answer "That's cause I only have one sister." That touched me.

My family ain't what you called a perfect family, nor is it a broken or dysfunctional one. It's just sorta complicated. My sister's a half-sister. Her parents, which is my dad and her mom, divorced. Then my dad married my mom and came me and my brother. My sister's mom then migrated to France and had 3 boys. My parents ain't what you called a loving old couple. They no longer share the same bed together and of course, don't have sex anymore. I'm guessing they're still together cause of us kids.

I won't exactly say I'm close with my family. But I'm not exactly very distant with them either. I do talk and share things with my mom and my sister. Mostly about friendships and relationships stuff. Afterall they're older and surely know these things better right? I guess I'm proud to say the girls in my fam are quite close, to a certain extend that is. I do love my brother too of course. But he's a stubborn pain in the ass most of the time. I think my brother tend to confide in me more than he does to the rest of the fam. Prolly cause our age's closest. So I could relate to him better. I'm really happy about it of course. Simply enjoy teasing and hugging him all the time. But he's too bony. Ain't nice to hug at all. Tsk.

So exactly what does family mean to me? I guess I could say that they mean the world to me. Cliche, but true. And even though my fam ain't exactly the most perfect family in the world. They still mean the world to me. Even though I'm not a home-person or a family-person, family's still first. I just hope my fam knows that. Laughs. One day, I hope we'll be the closest family ever. Whereby secrets could be shared. Whereby problems could be shared. And love could be felt. One day .. ((:

Hurt

A confession was made to me, just hours ago. Not an "I-lied-to-you-before-and-Im-telling-you-the-truth-now" confession of course. A sorta love confession? You know, I really really REALLY suck bad at handling this sort of things! Especially letting one down. Worse still, I don't even know what to feel. So freaking confused right now. On one hand I wanna let the other party down in the least hurtful way, yet on the other hand, Im afraid of rejecting cause I seriously don't wanna stop us hanging together. How fucked up man. Honestly. *Sigh* Ruined a night's of sleep because of this matter. If only Im the typed of girl who didnt think so much of other's feelings. If I were more colder, then I wont be this frustrated. Damn. Im so afraid of hurting people, because I keep having this mentality that if I hurt other people, somehow I would get hurt tenfold back one day! It's like this karma thing man! So I really don't wanna hurt anyone. )): AHHHH! I don't even know what Im typing. Jumbled up feelings FTL. Why was I oh-so-stupid to not notice any signs! If I could see these signs, at least I could've distanced myself away from you. Then you wouldnt have the courage to confess. And I wont be feeling like shyt now.