Octopportunity

Today marks the last day of my 4th week in Abbott. Ironic about how I hated my course yet due to it I'm able to land a job so fast and easily. I'm on 4 months contract though. But right now, there's a position available cause my colleague's resigning. Many of my colleagues kinda prompted me to apply but of course I'm abit hesitant. Well no doubt the benefits and pay are super attractive but I have to think if I really wanna continue with this field and direction. Sigh. Headache. What more its stressing.

On the 22nd will mark the first year I'm with the boy. I would say there's alot of mixed feelings. Well of course I'm happy that we managed to come this far, but there's still a damn long way to go. What more he's enlisting at the end of the month. More obstacles to overcome man. It wasn't exactly smooth sailing for us either. Mostly I guess I'm more insecure about his feelings. He might still love me for now but I know he thinks that we don't belong together. And it's gonna be damn tiring if I'm the only one wanting to try and hang on. I mean I don't believe that 2 people whose personalities are world's apart can't come to an understanding. Regardless, I will keep trying to prove to the world and the boy that we can be together. I won't give up unless he utterly gives up, or when the day comes when he doesn't love me or wants me to leave. I will be strong!

I'm always posting about relationships on this blog. Damn. Laughs.

It's been a while.

Well, it's been a while indeed since i've last blogged. About half a year to be exact. Well, many things have happened definitely. Work, school, social life, family etc. Too many things to say that i dont know where to start. Work wise, have started going back to Arrows to work since April. Worked for the past ITfairs too including under Dell. Could only say that it was really one of my worse shows under Dell. Maybe i've just forgotten how to sell or maybe it was the crowd. Hoping its the crowd, not me. Meh. Also, in may i think, worked at carrefour as cashier for four days. Was definitely an experience.

On to school, finally its the last lap for me. Finished the last lap for FYP a few days back only. Had the final FYP presentation and was so relieve to hear that we had done a good job! Sleep deprived for almost two weeks or more due to the constant work we had to do be it for our final report or for our powerpoint presentation. Hectic nights. Also, was glad that i didnt have to work with le her anymore. *Phew* Cant say i have the best teammate ever. Can only say that le her was a pain in the ass! But, ITS FINALLY OVER! WOOOOO! Now all thats left are my final examinations for poly and im done! Im really gonna study hard and make sure that i pass all my modules. I am not staying back any longer!

Social life, social life, social life.. Well, nothing interesting to mention about actually. Didnt really made any new friends recently nor went anywhere interesting in the past few months. But i finally got the chance to go zouk and phuture! Had been wanting to club there but was always full house for the few times i tried to go. I likey like phuture's songs/remixes! Awesome playlist/dj. Went clubbing with the R and LY with a few other friends as well as LH and friends. Well, it was kinda unexpected that LH would join us actually. It was a first time clubbing with him. Hmm, not really first time. Second time i guess. The first was where i first met him. Laughs. Have been to the zoo, birdpark and night safari too this year, plus two trips to genting too. Guess i did went a few places after all. Kinda tourist like if you ask me. Oh wells.

Regarding family stuff, recently Aunty Amy flew to singapore with her 2 sons/my sister's stepbrothers. Its been quite a while since she came back. Benjamin and Nicolas came but not Antoine. Heard that he was busy with his school or music or something. Cant really remember. Anyways Benjamin was still as adorable as ever! Last time i saw him he was just like 6 and now he's turning 13! GOSH. And Nicolas has turned into this handsome dude with his cute mop of curls. Too bad he's too young - 17. But he aint my type anyways. Laughs. Aunty Amy's still the same i guess. But im happy for my sister still. Finally had the chance to see them. Hope they had a lot of fun in this one month.

Lastly, of course would be bout D i guess. It's been more than 9 months since we started. Yet the number of arguments we have doesnt seemed to be decreasing as time passes. I know we love each other. That im very certain of. What im not certain of, is how strong i am and how much of it i could withstand. Many times i told myself, "This is it. You gotta stop now before it's too late. Stop now before you break." But each time i dont have the courage nor the strength. I know its me actually. I admit im a difficult girl to handle. Cant help being this way though. I guess i need someone who's strong enough to handle. But im not giving up without a fight. Not this time. I will only give up when i know there's nothing left. Not this time. I know that we're going through a rough patch right now. I know that all of this is just a phase. I believe that if we can get past this, everything will be fine from there. Its just a phase.. Right?

I will learn to mean what i say, and to say what i mean.

On to February

Now on to February:

For the month of feb, its actually kinda hectic. Mostly i think cause exams are happening and most of my friends are graduating and are racing to finish the last lap of poly. That is, theyre busy with the last fyp presentations and reports. Its really saddening to see all my friends graduating together but yet i still have one last semester left. Dafuq seriously. But no one to blame but myself really. Anyways on a happier note, i finally finally FINALLY got to meet up and see my girls! Especially Elle! Omggg. Even though she came back to singapore due to an unfortunate incident, im really glad she came back and was able to contact us and meet up with us. It really touches your heart to see her being so strong and still being able to smile and laugh and all. Simply love her so. And i cant believe she actually sent me a long msg and wished me "Happy Birthday"! Too awesome can! Really hope that she can take care of herself and hope that she would have more chances to come back.


Also, of course who could forget that there's valentine's day?! Well, i didnt really celebrate valentine's day (as much as i wish i could) as both D and i were having our examinations and we spent the day mugging together. Ohh well. At least i got to be with him. Good enough. Plus he surprised me with a mug containing a teddybear, some sticks of hearts, flowers etc and *ahem*. Laughs. I did my part too by buying him famous amos cookies, d-i-y-ing a sorta Ed Monkton short stories-scrap book cause it was freaking expensive and i just "scrap-ed" the book through internet references. And last but not least, i did a sorta tumble would show thing by pasting the wall with stickynotes in the shape of a heart. I think it was pretty nice! Laughs.


The last phase of February would be examinations. My last paper falls on my birthday actually. Its not that bad, cause at least i dont need to spend the last hour of my paper mugging through the night. Especially on the day that comes only once in four years! So between my last paper and the second last, it had a week break. Instead of studying, i was actually already in holiday mood after the second last paper which wasnt exactly a good thing. *Yikes!* I went to jurong birdpark and the zoo with my girls and some on the first two days consecutively. Followed by going to the narnia exhibition at mbs with B. The narnia exhibition was quite fun actually, due to the wall of ice but mainly, it was for kids actually. It wasnt exactly a big scale event too. Movie-d with shihao on the following day. Caught moneyball starring brat pitt. The movie was good but wont say it was those memorable kinda movie. Met my girls the next day for dinner and i miss em so much! Havent saw them in like ages! Had a lot of laughs with them of course! Hmm. For my papers, studying/mugging were a drag definitely. But i guess with D, he kinda help motivate me to study. So thank you much!


Of course the most important event of February would definitely be my birthday! Bwahaha. But imma update on that again.


February hasnt exactly been a fabulous month. Kinda sucky if you asked me. Laughs. Had more quarrels/arguments with B more recently in Feb than usual too. Definitely not something i wanna. Also due to our hectic schedules and with school and stuff, it was so long since we finally could go out on a date once more. Definitely not my style. So had been coped up at home for waaaay too long. Made me moody being coped up facing four walls. I think i have a thing against walls man. Laughs. Anyways i promise i'll not try to walk away from you. I promise we'll always talk things out. I promise we'll solve every problems we have. I promise we'll get stronger yea. So yea, i owe you a lifetime of love, and you owe me a lifetime of it too.

During the Month of January.

I havent exactly posted in months now. And right now, there are too many things and happenings that i don't know how exactly im gonna summarize. So let's just try now.

First of all, January:

The only thing i could remember vividly in the month was actually just Lunar New Year. CNY was actually ho-hum. Like a yearly routine. Everything's just basically the same. Different thing would be that i have new clothes, new hair, and well, for this year, new beaut. Highlighted my hair bright red, and i totally love it! Was freaking relieved that my hair wasnt too spoiled even after furiously bleaching it! And D made a surprise appearance when i was doing my hair in the salon alone, even though he was kinda late to meet his friends in the west. Gotta thank him for that. During day two of cny, a last minute visit was made from D to my aunt's house cause i feel that its kinda basic courtesy (and important) that he should 'bai nian' to my elders. That being said, my aunt was acting on my parents behalf cause they were too busy. Oh wells. Turned out unexpectedly well! Pretty awesome that he actually could socialize with my aunt and her friends during our game of blackjack. And i could see the effort he tried to put in in being a good guest. Thank you D! But i guess i have to get used to some things for sure. Like taking food for myself and for D. Aint really sure if i'll ever get used to it. It always feels good to be taken care of ya know. Even if its little things like taking food for someone all the time. Guess i'll have a hard time adjusting to that now. One more thing, gotta thank D for fetching me down that night. I know how much he dislike me still caring for J and of course, me going down to meet him. And i guess i'll never get over the things i actually said to J. Maybe to some people, they dont feel that its bad enough. But believe me, more than half of the things i said really gets to me. I hate playing the bad guy. But some times, life doesnt exactly give you any choice. Standing there looking at you cry, was the hardest thing it was ever since we've know each other. Im sorry i broke your heart. But i hope you will understand my reasons. Even if you dont, i guess it doesnt matter actually. As much as i want to be your friend again, i know that be it in the present or in the future, it can never happen. Because what we once shared was just too strong. We will never looked at each other as a friend again. But J, i will always remember you. I will always love you. But im sorry to say that, im not in love with you anymore. Its someone else now who has my heart. Oh well, guess thats what i wanted to get off.

The New Year, 2012

It's 2012! Another new year, another year older, another year grown, another year different.
Countdown was spent at Marina area with D, Bren and Shawn.
The fireworks were awesome! Its so amazing.
It's like when the fireworks lit up, your fears also burst into the sky with it.
They're like millions of tiny colored stars that you hope can grant your millions of wishes too.
The first week of the new year has passed.
School has started and life has kept on moving on its own pace.

Life aint exactly easy now but I guess thats what makes us stronger.
I really will get stronger and not break down nor give up at the hint of my falls.
Here's hoping for everyone too. ((:



PS: THIS POST WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED A WEEK FROM THE NEW YEAR. BUT I DIDNT REALISED IT WAS SAVED IN DRAFTS INSTEAD TILL NOW. GREAAAT. SHOWS HOW LONG I HAVENT POSTED. LAUGHS.

Last day of 2011.

It's the last day of 2011!

Finally im blogging.

Okay so following the events of my previous post, there have been alot of happenings.

The most important and prominent day of this month would of course be Christmas.

I would say it was an unexpected Xmas eve/ Xmas. But nonetheless, i had a lovely time.

Xmas eve was spent with Ly, Reb, Joshua, Arron, Ian, WeeChuan, SoonLai, Clement, Melvin & Xinghan.

Totally unexpected. Laughs. But they're an awesome gang so im grateful to them for letting me join their Xmas!

Xmas itself was spent with my D.

Went to Cityhall and took lots of pictures. Even though it was simple, it was still awesome.

The simplest things are often the best things as they say. Oh yea and he got me a beanie!

Totally a Xmas gift i would say. Will definitely wear it. ((:

Also, had Xmas exchanges with my girls Nu, Jose & Bren, as well as with Zee, Ruby & Zoe.

Awesome time spent with both of my groups of girls and appreciate and love the gifts lots!

Today would be the 93th day since D confessed to me.

Also today is the last day of 2011.

Time simply passes too fast. It doesnt even stop to let us catch our breaths.

"To be more optimistic, become stronger & more independent, 

and lastly i hope to pay off all my debts !

But most importantly "i wanna be the girl who didnt give a heck about guys, when her friends & freedom was everything she needs .""

That was my resolutions for this 2011! And im ashamed to say i didnt complete all of them. Laughs.

Alot of things have happened this year. From good things, to bad things, and to worse things.

Hearts have been broken, hearts have been healed etc.

New friendships have formed, old friends have come together again.

New relationships have begun, old relationships have been remembered.

It's maddening to see time pass by so darn fast.

And here i am, always wishing that some day, time stops for all us during our most happiest moments.

We've all grown, we've all aged, we've all created memories.

It's amazing to see how time changes all of us.

I know i've tried to stop changing and that is totally unacceptable.

Plus obviously it cant be prevented. Laughs.

So for the new year, my new resolutions would be to accept change, to embrace it, to be more optimistic, to be more understanding of others, to accept myself more, to make a difference. I really wanna be happy. And i got a feeling i will be. 2012's gonna be awesome right?!

December Baby

Its December Baby.

Got sick come December 1st.

Means i got sick the week before MST.

What a nice timing, not.

High fever and was pretty sure i lied in bed 90% of the time.

Gotta thank D for taking care of me.

Even though he kinda annoyed me at the start but yea he's learning.

He'll get better taking care of me.

(Y) Laughs.

MST's are over!

Guess Barry kinda motivated me to study this time round.

Otherwise i'll end up mugging till the very last minute.

I would say im proud of myself.

And i know i'll definitely need not worry about my results.

At least for 2 of my papers.

Holidays are here.

Started off badly. Hope it ends great though.

Have been in and out of my moods since yesterday.

Bad bad bad bad bad. Sigh.

Dislike it when im feeling/behaving like this.

Screw my moods man. Serious max.

Was kinda disappointed with some stuff.

Shant continue further on it.

Aint gonna dwell on it. I'll be fine anyways.

Christmas is approaching.

Cant wait for it.

Christmas really is an amazing holiday.

Spending christmas with my girls LY & Reb (counting down from eve that is).

Initially thought i'll be counting down christmas with D.

Guess not.

Saw his friend's text. It was by accident though.

Didnt want him to reject his friends.

So i changed our plans instead.

Think he'll have more fun with his friends instead yea.

Pretended that i didnt know anything of course.

Dont wanna make him feel bad.

But cant say im feeling good too.

Laughs. The ironic stuff that i always do.

P.S. Im sorry that i put pressure on you. 

Was just too used to having J telling me things all the time. 

We'll compromise and learn together yea. ((:

I just wanna be happy. Why is it so difficult?