2011's First Week

Pardon me for being so self-loved . Heh .

The first week of school's almost over and im NOT loving it . Main reason being i kept procastinating and my work keeps pilling . Results have also added on to my worries . Although at many a time i've told everyone that my results dont matter, yet when i get them back, somehow seeing how badly i've performed does gets to me . I guess it could be said that i've failed to get the grade i desire . Most importantly, i've failed expectations . Seriously, screw expectations . They're just a pain in the ass . Why is it that everyone pursue qualifications ? Somehow, its because of this fierce paper chase that makes all so competitive about education and certificates . I dislike competitions . In fact i despise it . Yes, on the good side it may motivate one to strive harder to achieve better results than others . Yet, competitions often produce all these selfish and slying people that would reduce to anything in order to achieve their goals . All these selfish lying hypocrites simply disgust me . Ok i admit its all about this biatch .

Relationship wise, havent exactly been a walk in the breeze . And after so long, im ready to say it . I AM SINGLE . Have been so for nearly 4 months . Laughs . It's been tough on me since im not the kind of girl who's able to let go easily . Blame it on me being too dependent on others all the time . Yet right now, it aint all so simple either . Im still seeing J though . My family doesnt know that we've broken up . (Well all except my mom .) And neither does his family . In fact, all of them still thinks we're strong . Laughs . CNY's around the corner and surely i've to bring J to my aunt house for dinner . Im still unaware of my feelings for him . Aint sure if i still like him, or im just too used to him being by my side . But one thing im sure of, im getting over him ..

I think im able to get over him's cause im falling for in love again . Seriously, after J, i thought i'll go anti-love . But even though im glad i found someone new to obsess over, lovin' him is not an option . Cause circumstances have dictate that we cant like each other . So i'll save the butterflies for next time . For now, i just wanna love myself .

P.S. Havent been reading of late . I miss reading . Will stop by the library soon .