Met J yesterday . Had a battle of feelings inside me when i saw him . For a moment , i forgot how to speak and what to call him . Watched iron man 2 and it was really nice . He held me in his arms again and it was bliss at that moment . And he said yes to my unreasonable request .. But somehow i cant seemed to know him anymore . Its just different . I dont know whether does he still held feelings for me or was it all an act . I dont like not being able to know whats on his mind . It sucks .
Im so confused right now . Its clear to me that im erased from his life or im just a friend to him now . Im cecilia in his contacts , under friends in his msn and now , im single on facebook . LOL . I really dont know what to feel . I wont shed any more tears but i wont be able to laugh wholeheartedly either -- at least not for now . I need a hug right now . I want a hug from my mom . Cause at least i know that she truly loves me ..
Qin says to follow my intuition . But the thing is , i dont know whats my intuition so how am i going to follow it ? I reply too much on him sometimes . Its his fault though . LOL . Who ask him to promise to stay by my side forever ! And thanks Qin for saying that im someone significant in your life . You're the best .
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