During the Month of January.

I havent exactly posted in months now. And right now, there are too many things and happenings that i don't know how exactly im gonna summarize. So let's just try now.

First of all, January:

The only thing i could remember vividly in the month was actually just Lunar New Year. CNY was actually ho-hum. Like a yearly routine. Everything's just basically the same. Different thing would be that i have new clothes, new hair, and well, for this year, new beaut. Highlighted my hair bright red, and i totally love it! Was freaking relieved that my hair wasnt too spoiled even after furiously bleaching it! And D made a surprise appearance when i was doing my hair in the salon alone, even though he was kinda late to meet his friends in the west. Gotta thank him for that. During day two of cny, a last minute visit was made from D to my aunt's house cause i feel that its kinda basic courtesy (and important) that he should 'bai nian' to my elders. That being said, my aunt was acting on my parents behalf cause they were too busy. Oh wells. Turned out unexpectedly well! Pretty awesome that he actually could socialize with my aunt and her friends during our game of blackjack. And i could see the effort he tried to put in in being a good guest. Thank you D! But i guess i have to get used to some things for sure. Like taking food for myself and for D. Aint really sure if i'll ever get used to it. It always feels good to be taken care of ya know. Even if its little things like taking food for someone all the time. Guess i'll have a hard time adjusting to that now. One more thing, gotta thank D for fetching me down that night. I know how much he dislike me still caring for J and of course, me going down to meet him. And i guess i'll never get over the things i actually said to J. Maybe to some people, they dont feel that its bad enough. But believe me, more than half of the things i said really gets to me. I hate playing the bad guy. But some times, life doesnt exactly give you any choice. Standing there looking at you cry, was the hardest thing it was ever since we've know each other. Im sorry i broke your heart. But i hope you will understand my reasons. Even if you dont, i guess it doesnt matter actually. As much as i want to be your friend again, i know that be it in the present or in the future, it can never happen. Because what we once shared was just too strong. We will never looked at each other as a friend again. But J, i will always remember you. I will always love you. But im sorry to say that, im not in love with you anymore. Its someone else now who has my heart. Oh well, guess thats what i wanted to get off.